I tried it for three days and I ended up totally exhausted. I don't know how the DAP people do it.
Being a racist is actually very tiring. The irrational hate inside your soul sorts of consumes your energy.
Honestly, now I know that I am not very good at being a racist, I'm not really sure what I should do now.
After I had exhausted my anger, I feel so hollow inside. I'm now just sad.
As I look around at the aftermath of GE13, I became convinced that the next five years will be the last of what it is now, especially for the Malays.
They were talks about a post-mortem, revamping Umno, and other strategies. However, deep inside I felt that all that are not going to work. They had talked about all that post 2008.
And just look at how it is now. Nothing changed.
The Malays are divided more than ever and I don't see them getting back together five years from now when GE14 is called.
Umno, despite being the party with the largest number of parliament seats is at its weakest point now.
A lot of those seats, which were in Malay-majority areas were won with small majority.
All Umno stronghold states in 2008, Johor, Pahang, Malacca, Terengganu and Perlis were badly breached. Negri Sembilan and Perak were retained with the slimmest majority.
Kedah was recaptured but with the smallest of majority.
Kelantan and Selangor were gone case.
Penang will be DAP's at least for the rest of my life time.
BN's last strongholds now are Sabah and Sarawak.
With the Chinese being totally united behind the DAP while the Malays were fractured between Umno, Pas and PKR, I don't see much hope of the Malays retaining the ways they are now.
BN will lose GE14, and totally broken up and Umno will be dissolved.
Yes, it's too early to say that, but let me do so to get it out of my chest.
Honestly, I don't think Umno will recover. If it wants to do so, it would had done the right things post 2008. But it didn't.
Umno members are still the way they are. Just watch their behavior in the run-up to the party election later this year. They will still be their usual selfish, ignorant, pompous self and squabbling for posts.
If there are any Umno people who want to be angry with what I wrote above, then they are invited to tell me what is the difference between Umno people pre 2008 and post 2008 till now. Tell me the difference.
I was in Gelang Patah throughout the campaigning period and I watched how hard it was for Datuk Abdul Ghani Othman to get the Umno members there to get their act together.
There were so many factions there and everyone wants to be a wakil rakyat. When they don't get it, they refused to work and some even go out of their way to ensure Ghani lose.
There were even those who kept for themselves the money which were supposed to be used for posters and flags, probably with the intention of using it for the coming party elections.
That's what Umno people had been reduced to.
Of course there were other factors such as using the mat rempits as party workers which clearly showed how dumb Umno people were during GE13.
The incident involving those hooligan looking youths at the Chinese independent Southern University College during DS Najib's visit is probably what sealed the fate of Ghani in Gelang Patah.
The DAP cybertroopers manipulated the whole thing beautifully and the crowd at the DAP ceramah at Sutera Mall the night after that incident swelled from the previous 10,000 to at least 30,000.
Now, I don't know what Najib has in mind to prevent Umno from sliding further down the hill. I am running out of things to suggest here.
Others had suggested things and this one is probably among the better ones
Still, even if Najib took up such an advice, I am skeptical Umno will survive five years from now. Heck, I am not even sure if Najib could survive the year....
The Malays would probably have to seek the shelter of the Pas' umbrella after that. Only that, they will no longer be Malays. They will just be known as Muslims because Pas do not acknowledge the struggles of Malays. They only acknowledge the struggles of Islam.
"Kita orang Islam, bukan orang Melayu," said a Pas guy to me not that long ago.
Actually, it will not be so bad for them. By that time Malaysians will consist over 60 per cent Pas Muslims and they will form a solid block, the same way the less than 30 per cent Chinese are fully supporting DAP now.
As for me, I don't think I want to have anything to do with such nonsense.
I don't want to become a Pas religious fanatic. I think that's even more tiring than being a Malay racist which I had tried these past few days.
Of course I can't turn the other way and join the DAP Chinese chauvinist gang despite me being half Chinese. They will never accept me as I will need to have full Chinese blood to be an ultra Chinese. Just look at the way Datuk Nurjazlan Mohamed who is three quarter Chinese being rejected by the Chinese in Pulai. His over 20,000 majority in 2008 was reduced by the Chinese revolt, particularly in Pengkalan Rinting to just above 2,000.
I will instead save some money and buy myself a piece of land somewhere in Pahang and become a goat breeder or something like that. I just want a quiet life now.
If someone comes to me and tell me that the country is burning five years from now, I will just tell the person that it's okay as it's fated to happen. I will then offer the person some goat milk to drink.
I know, I am starting to write gibberish as I reached this point. I am writing this just to get it out of my system. Some sorts of therapy, I presume. Well, I better stop now.
Ok, I'm really tired.