Thursday, 13 August 2015

Nothing to defend anymore

Had dinner with my ex-BF the other night.

We are now just friends.

I have to be honest with myself and admit that I'm still in love with him.

That's why I can't make myself decline his invitation for dinner.

When we broke up, ,he had told me that he doesn't love me anymore and just wanted to be friends.

It was heartbreaking but I had accepted his wish as it is.

No point in forcing someone to love me if that someone no longer feels that way.

Anyway, the dinner was nice.

It was at one of our usual Japanese restaurants.

We had sukiyaki and a few other dishes.

He was drinking his favourite Asahi beer while I had my usual hot green tea.

It's like what it used to be when we were still a couple.

We talked about our work, and things which were going on with our mutual friends and family members.

We even talked a bit about his new girlfriend.

It's obvious that he's very much in love with her now.

She's very much prettier than me, has a successful career and quite rich.

His new girlfriend was with her family on a holiday in France.

That's why he has time to catch up with me.

As it was back then, we also talked about current issues.

He was concerned about the latest political development.

Being a DAP supporter, he blamed PM DS Najib Razak and Umno for the current mess which he said undermined the credibility of the country's institutions.

"We can claim this and that about how democratic and moderate we are, but who will believe us now?" he exclaimed.

I just kept quiet.

Didn't feel like going into a debate with him like I used to do when he was still my BF.

He always enjoyed those debates.

"Why are you not defending your Umno?" he asked after he realised that the conversation was going one-sided.

"I just want to enjoy listening to you," I replied in Mandarin with a smile.

I was actually trying to get him more agitated because he doesn't speak Mandarin.

It works every time with him.

It always irks him that I can speak the mother tongue while he can't.

Really, he is always very cute whenever he got agitated talking about politics.

"Come on, defend your idol Najib lah. You used to talk a lot," he said, clearly irritated by my lack of enthusiasm.

"What are there to defend. Everything that you said was right. I agree with you. You win, I lose," I said, this time in English and still with a smile.

"Eh, this is no fun. Are you still angry with me?" he asked again.

"No lah. I am okay. Told you I just want you to be happy. Can we talk about something else?" I said, trying to change the topic.

Actually it hurts talking about such things with him as it reminded me too much of our happy days when he was still very much in love with me.

Furthermore, I was not lying. What are there to defend anymore? Najib and Umno were indeed responsible for the mess.

"What do you want to talk about then?" he asked, sounding a bit disappointed that he was not getting a debate out of me.

"Tell me la, what you and Vivian normally talk about?" I said with a giggle, trying very hard to sound natural.

Vivian is his new girlfriend.

"Errr...she's very ambitious. We mostly talk about our plans to buy a house together,  get married, have children and move up in the world. That sorts of stuff lah," he said.

"Oh...okay. that's nice. You all Chinese are so practical. I hope you and Vivian will be happy together," I replied, again with a smile.

We talked like that for more than two hours.

And as it used to be in the past, he walked me to my car after the dinner.

It was pleasant.

That night I cried a bit before falling asleep.

Otherwise, I'm okay.


  1. Kumbang bukan seekor..
    Dia pun dah buktikan, bunga bukan sekuntum..

    Kesetiaan..sepeti azizah anwar
    Kesetiaan seperyi najib roamah

  2. ahhh..annie..that guy must have shattered your heart to pieces eh?? they always say, it hurts much as much as you love.. no will certainly find your true love ..he will be 2.6 billion times better..hehe

  3. Ayo yo why you want to stick around and have yourself hurt. Don't get trapped in the past..Move on young lady. If I were you I already got myself a new bf and had dinner with him instead...

  4. Yep, there is nothing left to defend. No point defending BN and Najib.

    And after your final cry, forget the a$$hole loser you went to dinner with.

    Come on, he has a new gf and decides to go out with you when the gf is not around? He tells you the great dreams his gf and him share?

    He wants to see your reaction and is thoroughly rubbing your nose in it. Good riddance actually.

  5. nothing to defend... more truth to be found...
    now lets listen to what zeti have to say... i hv better faith in her than our PM..
    the only thing PM is good in collect derma... world record 2.6b and now washington post claim Malaysia champion of corruption...

  6. Annie juz let go. Between a single woman and a man nothing platonic exists. Letting go gives u the freedom to start on a better relationship. BFF don't cause u to shed tears over what could have been.
    Seeing that he's only "catching up" with you only when his Vivian is not around says it all..

  7. Sweetheart, don't waste your tears on a man who doesn't love u, ok? But then, you've always been a cry baby. Sweet and gentle Annie, always falling for the wrong guy. Better luck next time, beb.

  8. haiyaaaa.. gua moleh chakap tongsan maa

  9. It's like the wind, you can't see and touch it, yet you can feel it, the effect of it and that is love...

    Saudagar Mimpi

  10. Annie,

    This is like a love story.

    I am expecting about Najib + UMNO +1MDB +2.6B + US1:RM4.....

    It is interesting though. You can write 50 shades of grey minus those negative things and makes tons of money,

    Chinaman cannot speak mandarin, from melaka maybe? Drink beer not haram ah?

    Anyway, i can understand the whole thing. You cannot get it out of your system.

    No harm but if this thing is a liability to you, make you down too much, then you should get him out of your system. Maybe avoid him.

    There are people who can be friends after a break up and there are those who cannot.

    Not really an expert

  11. Funny, he was never your bf, because you never acknowledged him as one. He never dumped you, you didn't reciprocate his advances before, so he went to find someone else. Your feelings right now is not love, but rather the feeling of not being wanted as you use to have. Too bad aunty Annie, that's the price to pay when you play hard to get. The feeling only grows when he is absent and doesn't shower you with attention as he used to do. It's not too bad though. It's interesting anyway.


  12. re, No point of forcing someone to love me ,if that someone no longer feel that way.

    Soal cinta manyak susah lor rr , sikalang itu UMNO punya olang manyak cinta sama Najib ,tapi eaa aa ,apa sutak jadi bolih kasi habit itu UMNO maa aa .

    Wa ingat eaa aa ,kalau itu GE tatak kalah ,UMNO mungkin kena batal lia punya registration maa aa ,pasat itu wang punya hat lea aa .

    Wa tatak pandei lea aa ,tapi Wa kila-kila bolih jadi itu macam maa aa . Kalau itu hat jadi ,siap mau kasi salah .

    Kalu sutak kasi halam ,manyak hat boih jadi maa aa.

    Wa ,tatak tau lea aa ,itu Najib atak manyak cinta sama itu UMNO maa aa ,tapi Wa tau itu Uncle Lim memang tatak cinta punya lor rr , itu kasat lia selalu cekap UBAH.