Monday 23 July 2018

New Malaysia promises

I thought of this scenario as I was driving to work. I'm writing it down for fun, okay.


Man :
Your boyfriend is a cheat. I have all the evidence that he cheated on you. Dump him and be my girlfriend instead. I promise I will marry you and buy you a car, a bungalow, several condos, millions ringgit of jewellery, holiday trip to Japan and many more nice things.  I'll do  all these within 100 days after you become my girlfriend.

Woman :
Oh so nice. Ya la, I always suspect my current boyfriend is cheating on me. He's also very stingy. Always calculate everything before buying me anything. Holiday also never take me overseas. Go Langkawi the most. Okay, I'll dump him. But, you promise har....marry and buy me all those nice stuff within 100 days after I become your girlfriend. Can?

Man : Of course can. I'm a good man, not like your useless current boyfriend. I sure keep my promises one.


Woman :
Eh, how come you still not marry and buy me nice stuff yet. It's almost 100 days since I dumped my ex-boyfriend to be with you. You remember your promises or not?

Man : patient la. Now still cannot. I didn't calculate properly at that time when I promise you those stuff. Now only I realise not enough money. Give me some more time, okay. This is all you ex-boyfriends' fault.

Woman :
But you promised....I even slept with you already because you promised me all that....can you keep your promises or not?

Man :
Eh, promise is not the Bible la. No need to follow everything one. When I can, I keep my promises la. You don't nag me like this, okay.

Woman :
Sob, sob....but at least you marry me la hor....I slept with you already....if I become pregnant, how?

Man :
Aiyo....that one is for five years plan one, not 100 days. You cannot remember ka? Now keep quiet. I want to make love to you again. I know you like it. Don't talk so much. You want, right?

Woman ;
Eerrrr.....okay. But you promise marry me after this.

Man :
Okay okay....I'll marry you. I promise.

Woman ;
Within 100 days?

Man ;
Eh...shut up la. Lie down and just enjoy the ride, okay.

For similar scenario, please click this link to Bernama website and read what Mahfuz Omar said

Minimum wage promise is Pakatan Harapan's five-year plan 

But of course, Saifuddin Abdullah said

PH not flip flopping on general election promises

Don't know lah.

Anyway, it's actually not so bad.

Last time I promised to join DAP if Khaled Nordin wins the Umno election and becomes a vice-president.

The guy actually did that.

I was like, " I really have to kow tow to Guan Eng and gang."

Then I remember that nowadays we don't really have to keep our promises anymore.

New Malaysia what.

Hey, I also don't know before I made that promise that Umno people are so adamant on being led by someone like Khaled, okay.

Same like PH people when they made the election promises, which they are not keeping la.

Guan Eng said he and the gang didn't know the promises can't be kept, right?


  1. To be honest with you, I don’t give a fish about the manifesto nor do I gave a damn about their ability to fulfill it. As long as the kleptocrat is not there anymore, and someone else running the country, I’m completely fine with it.

    100 days or 1000 days, it’s alright. Take your time. We’re just grateful enough that there’s no more grey hair popping up in the media smiling like a idiot...

    1. BWA HA HA!

      Man with pink lips:
      Dump him and be my girlfriend instead. I promise I will marry you and buy you a car, a bungalow, several condos, hundreds of millions ringgit of jewellery, 1,200 rings, 584 handbags, holiday trip to the whole world on private jet and many more nice things. I'll do all these by stealing public funds from 1MDB after you become my girlfriend.

      Woman eating hippo food:
      Oh so nice. Ya la, I always suspect my current boyfriend is cheating on me. He's also very stingy. Always calculate everything before buying me anything. Holiday also never take me overseas. Okay, I'll dump him. But, you promise har….Also give my boiboi luxury penthouses in NYC and enough money to make the Very Islamic Movie, “Wolf Of Wall Street”. Can?

      Man with pink lips:
      Of course, sayang. Of course the rakyat will be angry, but takpe, our pro-UMNO bloggers will cover for us.

      Woman eating hippo food:
      What??? Our pro-UMNO bloggers will cover for us? But pro-UMNO bloggers are either fucking lazy or fucking shit. Or both. How arrrrrr?

      Man with pink lips:
      Yes, but it’s OK. It’s not like our crimes will ever be punished. We will win PRU14, gerenti, beb. Tak kan with all these bloggers on our payroll, we will win only 36% of the popular vote!

      Woman eating hippo food:
      Ha ha, yes, of course! It will never happened. I love you! Buy me a pink diamond?

      Man with pink lips:
      Done already, sayang. We stole 27 million yesterday just for you!

    2. Nasib baik org yg mudah kena kencing mcm ni dah x ramai.ramai yg dah insaf
      Prof Kangkung

    3. Pros Kangkang,

      Let us be very precise here:

      You and your other brain-free macai are swimming joyfully in a swimming pool full of hippo urine, in which are floating 1,200 rings, hundreds of Birkin handbags, DVDs of Riza Aziz's rakyat-funded soft porn movie, and bottles of the red wine that Nazifuddin Najib shared with that chinadoll in Taiwan.

      A very strange mix of flavours, and highly un-Islamic, but you seem to enjoy it.

      Prof Sawi


  2. Enjoy the ride !!!!, haii...yaa ?.

  3. The thing about this coming by-election, why oh why BN put that guy as candidate? Were BN bereft of any suitable and NEUTRAL candidate to be picked? It showed bad judgment from BN. Really bad. They haven’t learn a lesson from previous GE. Now everyone has second thought about Zahid’s ability to lead.

    By the time he’s being confirmed as candidate, I know BN’ s fate is sealed. PKR will gonna have it easy. A walk in a park. This fella is the guy everyone loves to hate right now. Ever since the fall of BN, he keeps popping up and showing up, unnecessarily, out of nowhere, in public consciousness heaping praise to previous prime minister for no obvious reason.

    Aren’t BN realized this guy keeps generating bad publicity to Umno and BN? The same as Jamal Jamban? only milder. Did they know how toxic the kleptocrat’s name in the minds of the rakyat right now? And yet they picke the guy who smitten to him and love to be associated with him.

    This guy once said Tun M is a riding horse to DAP. Don’t you think that rude and disrespectful remark are going to endear to him to the rakyat especially the Malays? And you need the support of this segment of voters to win the election? So what are you gonna do now? Publicly apologize to Tun M?

    1. Anon 13:17.U are 1001% right

    2. "This guy once said Tun M is a riding horse to DAP. Don’t you think that rude and disrespectful remark are going to endear to him to the rakyat especially the Malays?"

      You think Zahid Konedi will be ever be forgiven for the insults he threw at Tun?

      You think Umngok will be ever be forgiven for the cutting of Tun's face from the billboards?


      And they are still insulting him...

    3. Anon 17:01

      Ala aa you ni.. Apa nak sensitip sgt?. Geng moo hina macam ni pun Tun make donno aje;

      Professor Nasi Lemak

    4. Talk is cheap not giving a rat ass about manifesto konon. As far as i could remember didnt those scumbags who support PH, everyday whining and complaining about BN promises & always promoting PH manifesto promises? Didnt those scumbags always complaining minimum wages, complaining cost if living, petrol price. Now talk big dont care if the manifesto is not fullfilled.

  4. Annie, masa PRU14 dulu U undi MATA SATU (HARAPAN) ke...?
    Hence U sekarang sibuk tuntut MANIFESTO 100 HARI....?????
    I vote HARAPAN based on the belief KITA MENGUNDI TANGKAP PECURI. After five years, baru kaji semula,tengok, kalau umno sudah matang. Tapi kalau UMNO still riding on MANIFESTO 100 hari, sorrylah. Teruk mana pun mengteri-menteri HARAPAN, at least mereka bukan pencuri. They need time to gain experiance jadi menteri KERAJAAN. Kami pun bukan sentiasa menuji mereka. Cuba U masuk blog outsyedthebox or JELAPANG. Banyak topik on MENTERI HARAPAN dikritik. Kritiknya semua based on fact and very matured. Takda childish macma u people, balik-balik MANIFESTO 100 HARI or hal-hal MELAYU or riding on ISLAM. Tak salah nak kritik, memang kerja pembangkang mengkritik. Tapi why, siang malam MANIFESTO 100 hari....???
    I jadi malas nak masuk blog LIFE OF ANNIE.
    So childish.
    Typical UMNO mentality.

    1. Mana ada saya tuntut apa-apa. Saya okay je. Kan saya kata saya pun tak tunai kan janji saya. New Malaysia sekarang ni kan janji tak penting. Tak gitu ke Cik Minah?

    2. Firstly che minah, no body asks u to read annie's blog..
      Secondly, don't u know that siakap senohong gelama ikan duri, cakap bohong lama2 jd pencuri..
      And thirdly.. wtf.. what kind of longkang mentality is this? being a menteri, there's not room for learning, they r expected to drop and run NOT fall and learn.. there so many life at stake.. adoii..

    3. rexuan, PH at the moment still better then BN kleptocrat right? Melayu tipu melayu. Full of scandal. Umngok Elite kaya raya. This is how the nuetral rakyat feel. After 5 yrs then we make our own judgement to vote again. Democratic and healhty judgement must be base on the performance of any political party. Its still too early to pass judgement on PH now.

    4. Sila baca komen KijangMas Perkasa antara salah satu daripada banyak komen sebagai pembukaan minda dan mata kepada kita bangsa melayu. Menitis air mata bila habis membaca.

    5. Cik Minah has a valid point. In my kampung, the ones I know that have voted PH tak tau pun manifesto PH. Tak kisah nak tahu pun infact. Their only aim was to demolish the so called kleptocratic government. It was a brave move by them considering the deeply exploited fear of May 13 incident by the kampung UMNO loyalists.

    6. Cik Minah,

      Kalau ya pun, apa lagi Annie nak cerita. Bukan senang nak sokong BN... Dah teruk sangat dah.

      Jadi itu kenalah gali dan cari apa yang ada. Janji 100 hari, tukang masak luar negara tak boleh masuk...itulah modal yang ada.

      Takkanlah Annie nak sebut intan belian, atau surat pada perisik Amerika tuu dan macam-macam elephant in the room orang putih kata.

      Apa nak dikata....

    7. "Teruk mana pun mengteri-menteri HARAPAN, at least mereka bukan pencuri."

      Says it all.

    8. Anon 16:35. Tepat sekali. Annie ni sudah ketandusan modal

    9. Ala aa Cik Minah

      Yr 93yr old PM aritu celebrate besday ade baloon warna warni lagi..macam bebudak tabika juga trying to look childish cutie cutie dgn wife. Spoil sport la kamu ni.

      Annie jgn la pressure PH sgt.. sblum 100 hr nanti ramai lain masuk hospital, payah Malaysia.

      Min RM1.5K tu.. alahai jual nasi lemak for breakfast bersih satu pagi pun anytime bole dapat. Tak perlu nunggu 5tahun... tak payah harap sgt gomen PH ni.

      Cik Minah
      Nape saham, matawang, reserve, harga kelapa sawit menurun sgt sejak PH menang? Foreigh investors pula pakat cabut lari ketakutan.. you go sort these out, jgn mai main2 kat sini.

      Professor Nasi Lemak

    10. Cik minah awat bangang sangat sibuk tangkap pencuri yang ko hadap semua pun penipu besar ...janji tak dipenuhi tu munafik tau.bergumbira la dgn pm yg nyanyok tu ye

    11. Is it just me? I can see that PH is performing worst than BN. Not only that they came out with nothing better.. they lied, make u-turns, make things worst, it is as if bagi bunga pada kera..

    12. Prof Nasi Lomak, Saham memang kerjanya naik turun. Neiki, DowJon, Straits Index, Hang Seng - semuanya sama. Apa pun, here's something for U to punder;

      BSKL dijangka naik ke paras 1800 mata petanda pelabur mula yakin

      KUALA LUMPUR: Bursa Malaysia dijangkakan bergerak ke paras lebih tinggi, antara 1,800 dan 1,820 minggu ini, selepas merosot ke paras 1,750 minggu lalu berikutan jualan besar-besaran saham wajaran tinggi disebabkan reaksi pelabur terhadap pengumuman tahap hutang negara, kata peniaga.

      Ketua Pegawai Eksekutif dan Ketua Pegawai Pelaburan Hermana Capital Bhd, Datuk Dr Nazri Khan Adam Khan, berkata pengumuman kerajaan bahawa hutang negara melebihi RM1 trilion, mencetuskan kebimbangan dalam kalangan pelabur berhubung keupayaan kerajaan mengurus ekonomi.

      Bagaimanapun, beliau berkata kebimbangan itu mula reda selepas kerajaan mengumumkan siri rancangan untuk menjana pendapatan, termasuk mengkaji semua projek mega dan melaksanakan pengurangan kos.

      "Seperti yang dapat kita lihat, reaksi berlebihan mereka (pelabur) kini kembali reda, dan menyaksikan indeks tempatan kembali pulih apabila meningkat 23 mata pada Jumaat," katanya kepada BERNAMA.

      Kenyataan daripada pelabur China baru-baru ini yang menyatakan keyakinan mereka dan akan meneruskan perniagaan di bawah kerajaan baharu, juga memberikan sokongan kepada pasaran dan berkemungkinan akan berterusan ke minggu ini.

      Bagaimanapun katanya, ketegangan ekonomi global mungkin mengehadkan peningkatan pasaran tempatan minggu ini, dengan pelabur serantau kini memantau rapat perkembangan rundingan dagangan Amerika Syarikat (AS)-China.

      "Wujud juga kebimbangan baharu dalam kalangan pelabur selepas Presiden AS Donald Trump membatalkan sidang kemuncaknya dengan pemimpin Korea Utara Kim Jong Un," katanya.

      Bagi minggu baru berakhir, Bursa Malaysia kebanyakannya ditutup lebih rendah susulan momentum tekanan jualan berterusan saham wajaran tinggi terpilih, serta kaunter yang banyak bergantung kepada keadaan semasa.

    13. Alaa Cik Minah
      Tak payah kelentong la. Alasan tak abis2.

      Moo check hari2.. pulih berapa mata???? tst tst tst

      Kalau tak sabit duit EPF, Amanah Sahan, Tabung Haji, Tabung Persaraan, bla bla... lama dah lingkup.

      Macam hari2 dok main tikam tikam toto pulak dgn duit2 simpanan rakyat. kekeke

      Professor Nasi Lemak

    14. Sapa soh NAJIB buat 1MDB - meniaga buluh kasap, MODAL hilang, UNTUNG LESAP. Tinggalkan hutang berpuluh b uilion. Ada hati nak tuduh kerajaan PH mungkir janji. Kalau takda hutang berpuluh billion, bukan je manifesto bahkan hidup rakyat semua tentu senang lenang macam sebelum tahun 2004 dulu. Prof Nasi Lomak aka Prof Kangkong, ko ni typical NAJIB. Hari-hari meroyan kutuk kerajaan PH. Kesian kau, one fine day, kalau kau terusan meroyan, kau akan nyanyok terbaring HANCING. So, u better be careful. Just accept the fact that BN memang dah KALAH dan nak naik semula memang payah. Regarding kerajaan PH, U don't worry. I rememb er masa mula-mula pembangkang take over Selangor and Peneng, U people keep on meroyan buruk-burukkan negeri bawah pembangkang tu. In the end, after severl PRU, BN tetap meroyan....KAHKAHKAH.

  5. Hey Annie the neutral,

    Now new Malaysia, school shoe change color to black.

    Ok what, more modern and up to date with the new style and all.

    I remember, last time go to school, my friends all wearing white grey-ish color, never wash...

    Now this government better, think ahead they say.....

    You want to compare boyfriend girlfriend I think cannot.

    First, the boyfriend promise so much, after, the boyfriend learn that the girlfriend got so much skin problems and such, have to postpone first, cure the skin rash, all the kurap and then deliver the promise.

    How can the boyfriend know that the girlfriend got skin problems, STD some more. Not his fault laa like this.

    You have to be fair to the boyfriend also.

    So far I think the compare to the old boyfriend, this one much better.

    Honest some more.

    1. True also. Black shoes better. Dirty and smelly also people don't see.
      Same la. When I promise want to join DAP, I also don't know Guan Eng got that kind of disease....errr, sorry, defects. So, not my fault also I didn't join, right?

    2. It doesnt matter which party u wanted to joint then u change ur mind. Not very important. The important part is within urself. One must be freed of partisan,racism and be truly fair and democratic. If we have it in oneself then any decision made surely represent good intention,non malicious. Its definately a decision for all. Annie if u have that then u can call urself neutral. Believe me u wont get anymore bashing. Time to ponder.

    3. Black shoe. Really waste of time. Is there any other thing that more worth to think than black shoe? Such a waste of brilliant to Dr.Maszlee. I vote for Harapan. Black shoe?!.common

    4. Hee hee, well Annie, why your beloved UMNO didn't deliver AFTER FIVE YEARS arrrrr?

      DIRECT PROMISES from the PUBLISHED 2013 BN Manifesto:

      "Easing Cost Of Living" - tak payah cakap, lah.

      "Access to Quality Health Services" - Hospitals are fast running out of money and medicines. Even medical tests cannot be done in some of them any more.

      "Towards Greater Efficiency in Public Transportation" - you mean "Towards More Expensive Public Transportation"? LRT up? Tolls up? Taxi fares up? Petrol up? KTM up? Is MO1 asking for praise for MRT built with OUR money?

      "World Class Infrastructure Development and Rural Transformation": Ask FELDA shareholders about how their share price has undergone a huge "Transformation"? KLIA2 was delayed how many times, and at what cost to the public? Why has the cost of ECRL doubled for no reason - unless the allegation is true that money is being siphoned off to pay 1MDB debts?

      "Strengthening Women’s Participation": The Cowgate prosecution came to a very sudden end, based on one letter to the 24-hour replacement. So RM250 million gone, does that count as a success?

      "Building a Resilient, Dynamic and Innovative Economy" - tak payah cakap, lah. 41% FDI flight in the last 12 months. Already broken the 55% GDP-debt ratio. Rated by Oxford group as Asia's most "at-risk" economy". The PM is so economically "innovative" that his own party can "misplace" US$700 million in its audited accounts.

      "Building towards Educational Excellence" - Vietnamese kids are more advanced than ours. And further cuts will make this even worse.

      "The gradual reduction of intra-city tolls" - You see, the word "reduction" means GO DOWN, not GO UP.

      "Enhancing Security and Public Safety": How many Malaysians feel safe on the streets? How many tourists in East Malaysia do?

      "Promoting Islam, Religious Freedom and Harmony": Can you please ask the East Malaysians, Chinese and Indians about this one? It's the worst in Malaysia's history.

      "Fighting the Scourge of Corruption": - In the land of pink diamonds, tak payah cakap, lah. Ask the Swiss AG and DOJ, or look at the OSA-ed Auditor's Report. And the fact that we have more illicit money flowing out than any country our size. Or maybe it was all "donations"? The bad example starts from the very top.

      "Revitalising the Public Service and Enhancing Good Governance": HA HA HA! "Good Governance". We are still ranked one of the most corrupt public sectors in Apac by Ernst & Young. Is cracking down and sabotaging the MACC, SB, AGC and BNM part of "Revitalising the Public Service and Enhancing Good Governance?" Is twice ignoring BNM's prosecution recommendations on 1MDB an example of "Good Governance"?

      So, that is the TRACK RECORD of MO1.

      Malaysia is now the laughing stock of the entire world.

      ASK the rakyat to look at ALL promises he made in 2013.

      Almost all were broken!

      Why arrrrr, Annie arrrrrr?

    5. Anon 17:03

      Kamu ni.. wht a waste of time.. cuba la gi tolong PM, FM, Daim, Zeti tu sikit.. kalut melilau kehulu kehilir nak kasi mooo semua makan sedap2.

      Kesian la.. toknek tua2 tu.

      Professor Nasi Lemak

  6. Haha Annie dah makin menyerupai Raja Petra.Tapi takpe,masih menghiburkan untuk dibaca.Jangan jadi macam Raggie Jessey udah ler...

    1. Annie dah makin menyerupai Fat Soh, the Fat Bitter Cinabeng Walrus...

    2. I still got hope for neutral Annie that she does not fall into the same category as those losers like Raja Petra, ponytail and Joceline Tan of the Star.

  7. I am just glad I don't have to see an article about FLOM every time I flip through the newspaper nowadays.
    I didn't vote PH for the manifesto.
    If a wife who is not elected into office is running around with a few offices of her own in the government, you know how screwed up it is.


    1. Anonymous23 July 2018 at 15:24

      Pls ask anyone who tried to deal with PMO how much Datin's "cut" was.

      Of course Annie loves kleptocrats so she won't write about this...

  8. Good one Annie;

    Tapi I kesian kat pompuan tu.Beberapa kali mamat tu janji, everytime mamat tu dapat free ride..Tak pe, both parti suke same suke, who cares anyway.

  9. Kesian kat Annie....pusing sini pusing sana pun orang boleh baca motif dia. Nowadays kena korek kuat sikit kalau nak convince orang percaya kerajaan BN Kleptokrat lebih baik dari new Malaysia di bawah pimpinan PH

    1. "Kesian kat Annie....pusing sini pusing sana pun orang boleh baca motif dia. Nowadays kena korek kuat sikit kalau nak convince orang percaya kerajaan BN Kleptokrat lebih baik dari new Malaysia di bawah pimpinan PH"...

      Pro-Umgnok whoops Neutral bloggers xde otak so x pandai tukar taktik...dorang mmg "waste of space" & "waste of dedak".

    2. Kafir kafir dlm blog ni mana tahu ttg sifat munafik org yg mungkir janji.
      Prof Kangkung

    3. Prof Kangkung....rasuah UMNO halal ke? Pencuri dan penyanggak halal ke?

    4. Prof. Kangkang/Nasi lemak,

      Itu intan belian, putih, merah jambu, jam tangan, prada, apa hukumnya? Harus ke sunat?

    5. Anon 21:49
      Jeles ka? Cannot buy for your wife?.

      Ala aa kamu nih. Last year klo dia invested 100,000 bitcoins at USD200 each, it shot up over USD17K each.. macam2 dia bole beli. Did you miss the boat??? Nak cari rezeki, the skies the limit..

      Tu la.. Saddiq kamu lantik jadi minister. Kalau otak dia macam Vitalik, baru la anak2 muda kami tabik dia. Ni asyek selfie memanjang.. huhuhuhu

      Pastu toknek tua2 pilih as yr leaders. People move forward, kamu semua move backward. Kesian betul.

      Professor Nasi Lemak

  10. Honestly, I didn't read the manifesto. That wasn't the issue.

    I just wanna see UMNO get kicked in the teeth. And we gave Ketuanan Melayu a big middle finger coz we've got a Chinese as Deputy Defense Minister.

    PH actually exceeded my expectations.

    1. Anon 17:42 Nice words.Hear your insults but myself boiling inside.

      Just be careful dont celebrate too much .Malays are also good politicians.Push them one corner,like the dog they will fight back. Wait for the next PRU. This PRU I vote for PH because I hate Najib. Next election, I may vote BN because I hate people like you.Tiada adab punya orang.

    2. Anon 17:41
      Vely gud. Selama ni asyik main melalak aje djalanan tak tentu arah.

      Eh eh excited benar, you ingat Dep Defense Minister tu macam jadi idol kpop celebrity ke?

      Professor Nasi Lemak

    3. That deputy defense minister wrote the Mahathir doctrine of Malaysia's foreign policy with regards national defense.

      Did Umno's Hishammudin of Heineken do anything when in Mindef?

      Are you still a racist after all these years?

    4. Ooi Anon 17:41

      Lu ingat kita tak tau you ni Melayu pretending to be kaffir ? Ada manyak such postings la all over social media...kita dah biasa tactic ni...posing as Cina to inflame and incite the Malays. Sudah basi la cara gini...try to be more creative, OK ? Lokman Noor dah bayar dedak kau ?

    5. @ 08:05
      Don't insult me by calling a PKHKC Melayu.
      Nabe eh chibai.
      How does all the shit that you're eat taste in the mouth? Quite bitter hor?

    6. would I know what shit taste like? hihihi. Only shit eater like you know la...bitter ke, manis ke...only you would know la. By using "hor" won't convince us that you are not Melayu lah. Try harder next time OK ? Assehole your chibai, bwa hahahha.

  11. let hope PH fulfill its anti corruption manifesto the soonest the best wink

    1. incl incarcerating MO1 & other corrupted BN wink wakakaka

    2. Anon 18:26
      You ni..

      ketaq lutut Guan Eng klo you nak soonest.. kes bangalo dia dah lama sgt masuk mahkamah. Dok tunggu apa lagi? FIFO la

      Professor Nasi Lemak

    3. Nasi Lemak
      Pelik ni BN takde pulak bising tu terowong wakakaka

  12. A: Do you really like me, B?

    B: I adore the very ground you tread, A.

    A: (blush) Really kah?! Hmm, but you seem to look so distracted these days...a new woman, perhaps?

    B: Who can ever compare to you, my sabun darling?

    A: And yet i wonder why you mutter her name in your sleep..

    B: You mean Annie or Fathia or ... i cannot remember anything. Maybe it was just a nightmare. Don't worry about it.

    A: Now that you've mentioned her name, someone told me you've met Annie before. How was she?

    B: Bad woman, i faintly recall.

    A: Ah, then should i feel safe about us?

    B: How can you think otherwise? All of five days in a week devoted to you. I'll however be busy pumping iron weekends. Need the exercise to keep fit for you, ok?

    A: (puzzled look) Hope it's not this weekend though.
    You did promise to take me out for a movie, didn't you?

    B: (scratches jaw, looking lost) I did? Must have slipped my mind. What movie do you want to see?

    A: How about Equalizer II?

    B: That movie? Now why used knife when got gun?

    A: You cheating heart! Who did you see the movie with?

    B:(oops, beads of sweat drip down brows) Errh, no-lah. Only saw the trailer on youtube.

    A: A promise is a promise, B. You must keep your promises always.

    B: What missionary zeal that sounds, A. I dunno nuthin' about missionary zeals, sayang. But i sure can regale to you about missionary positions. Wakakaka.

    A: You're incorrigible, B! What am i to do with you?!

    B: WITH me? Let me refer to that ancient classic...

    A: Ok, let's be serious.

    B: What you wanna talk about? (brushes her hair back behind one ear. Squints to look at ear intently)

    A: Why do you think PH is better than BN at keeping promises?

    B: Why? Anon@17:03 already gives us a succinct record of BN's cheating on promises. And BN has been with us for over half a century. Also, there are more 1MDBs yet to be exposed. So it has only been less than tiga bulan saja that PH has ruled, furthermore without any mechanism of government designed on its own.

    But you really want to know the key to the whole matter? Yes, it's about trust. The rakyat with such a long relationship with BN yet has completely lost ALL trust in BN.

    Who would vote and support a government which is no longer trusted, pray tell. Without trust, there will be thorns in the heart even if roses are presented with one hand because we all know the other hand has dipped into your handbag to filch your money. Need we say more?

    What is most galling is Umno now trying to use sun tzu's offense as best defense when it should instead be atoning for its crimes. Criminal escapism plus devious deflection plus sly flamebaiting equals political shit.

    A: But doesn't that also mean the new government must earn the trust of the rakyat by fulfilling all its requests?

    B: Amboi, sayangku. How can the new government do so when the granary has already been emptied by Umno? Don't you know how much two point four bilion can do? It'll probably exceed all 100-day manifesto expectations of the rakyat.

    Secondly, don't you think how much has already been indirectly expended in abolishing the GST and stabilizing the fuel price? Why no thank you to the new government for those?

    Why suddenly this and that, why all the busy-bodying about promises now?

    Thirdly, you want to raise the minimum wage straightaway to rm1,500? Do you even know what the last raise had caused? Businesses had to retire one out of every three workers because their cash-flow could not stand the inflated payroll which if you have forgotten also included statutory contributions, training funds later found siphoned, overtime allowances and unwieldy year end bonus expectations.

    Guna-lah otak sikit, sayang. Get real about the real world, not the cozy self-incubated you-suffer-i-enjoy world of the orangutans of kinabatangans. Stop associating with those crooks, yes?

  13. 2/2

    A: (trembles). You bully me, B.

    B: No-lah. I just get a bit heated up when you continue to hold aggravating views that are divorced from reality just because your kawan-kawan are so-the-smoothly tribal in soothing you at their jomhebohs.

    Remember this, A. With me, you will not have any identity crisis. You already know how supportive i am of women; i will always hold them in adoration and with compassion so why do you want to nitpick on promises? Sometimes, they even say drop the 'com' from 'compassion', and come on strong and quick now. I don't know why, though.

    Look, the world changes every minute. Ta'kan i fulfill one promise and kill another given the massive damage done by Umno only now discovered one by one?

    And didn't you notice that in the first week after elections, the new government was already rarin' to achieve those promises and had to be told by the rakyat it was alright if some cannot be achieved immediately because the situation was found to be worse than what they could possibly have known before elections?

    How could they have known there were red files, backdoor arrangements and treasonous appeals to a foreign power to support the previous government?

    Just try to imagine what would the new Treasury be saddled with now if MO1 had by ultra vires usurpation of fiduciary power signed a non-tender confirmatory contract to buy Trump's Boeings just because he wanted a photo opportunity against the DoJ. You ada fikir all these things or not?

    A: Errhh, can i make up to you tonight?

    B: (eyebrows rise a centimetre) What do you have in mind, dear?

    A: How about a massage, thai-style?

    B: (remembering he just had one in the afternoon), No need-lah. So thoughtful of you. Don't tire yourself so much over me.

    A: Now, about Annie...

    B: (an angelic expression descends on the handsome face) Let's not talk about her anymore. She may be hot (talking to himself: "especially when pinned pillion on my self-reconstructed turbo-boosting harley"..) but no space separates us both (humming to himself: while thinking of Annie)...

  14. semoga yg tak puas hati pada janji2 PH, selamat berjuang untuk 5 tahun lagi! Dah nak GE15 nanti, tau la PH nak buat apa. Rileks Annie. Malam masih muda. TQ


  15. And for Annie, only:

  16. DAP don’t need you.. don’t think they will accept you as member even if you join. Don’t be so thick skinned. Lolllllll

    As for manifesto? What manifesto? I just voted PH to get rid of the kleptocrat that is giving our country a bad name all over the world.

  17. Annie,

    //I didn't calculate properly at that time when I promise you those stuff. Now only I realise not enough money.//

    And therein lies the problem in your analogy.

    Prior to PRU14, there was very little information which was available to Pakatan.

    AND what information was available was biased or skewed to portray a successful Malaysia.

    Your analogy would be more accurate if the girlfriend has some money which was being managed by one boyfriend.

    This first boyfriend is always spending her money on himself and his friends but seldom on her.

    Then the second boyfriend makes certain promises to the girl based on what he can see.

    Unfortunately, the second boyfriend finds out that the first boyfriend was cheating the girl out of her money, and hence the second boyfriend cannot keep promises that were made.

    Your analogy seems to assume that the two boyfriends have money and it is simply a question of which boyfriend has more money.

    But in reality, it is the girl who has the money - not the two boyfriends.


  18. Rome is not built in a day


    1. Well said Fadzireen

    2. Fadzireen kamu ni.. Ori la sikit.

      Hmm kasut jangan lupa ikut teladan dia juga, skrg kena pakai hitam2 aje tau.

      Prifessor Nasi Lemak

  19. I don’t care about PH election manifestos.

    Main objective of GE14 had already been accomplished; that Najib had been kicked out as a PM. Seeing him in jail for 20 years will be an added bonus.

    1. MO1 goes to jail for 20years. Me , my immediate family , my extended family , my inlaws family , my friends and my friends families, my neighbourhood ,my alumni wasssap groups, my office work group, teh tarik at mamak group..will all vote for PH for the next 20 years least...nomatter whatever manifesto..

  20. Kleptocrat MO1 is gone. GST is gone. Those 2 promises are the mother of all promises and thank you PH for fulfilling them.

    1. Anon 23:16

      Moo ni ..

      Kamu ni macam keluaq dari mulut buaya terlompat masuk mulut naga pula.

      Kekeke Kesian

      Professor Nasi Lemak

    2. "Anonymous23 July 2018 at 23:16 - Kleptocrat MO1 is gone"

      that's good enough for me..

      next election lain cerita lak..

  21. in the end all...
    all the mahacai bodoh gets nothing....
    and all the mahacai leaders gets something....

    1. Sedih benar lihat moo semua dalam PH ni. Kesian.

      Pilihan leaders mereka yang lack of substance, sekadar pandai semboq hateful air lioq basi saja hari2. Generasi skrg tak perlu these kind of NEGATIVE leaders.

      Tekan butang aje 24/7 hari2 we follow great leaders like our prophet Muhammad saw, Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates, Warren B, Mark Zukerberg, Jack M, Larry Page, Sergey B bla bla

      ...innovative leaders who inspire, motivate and make us THINK and move forward.

      Haiyaaa.. pilih yg kuat melalak toknek tua2, bro2 yg sebenda pun belum "contribute" apake benda ni semua?

      Professor Nasi Lemak

    2. Nasi Lemak punya idola is MO1 Kleptocrat. Mesti support untuk dapat dedak semula. Sekarang dedak sudah low supply.

    3. Anon 11:00

      .. moo asyik merepet mantra MO1 Kleptunkerat, dedak.. no wonder PH takde pemimpin2 yang berkaliber terpaksa amik mereka2 yang dah expired.. cih, karut la.

      .. moo gi tolong toknek2 tua buat kerja. Kesian Zeti tu, dh manage PNB ni tambah Sime Darby pula..

      ...kesian hari2 asyik dok main tikam tikam guna tabung2 simpanan rakyat, clap clap clap saham2 Sime Darby pun menaik kasi Cik Minah dan moo excited.

      Professor Nasi Lemak

  22. Annie ni masih grieving la...her beloved UMNO lost the Ketuanan position and as we all know, there are 5 stages of grief...denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. No prizes for guessing at which stage of grieving Annie is at now. The DENIAL stage sudah pass...remember the few days after 9th May, Annie had been speculating wildly how UMNO could get right back on the horse again...macam macam dia juxtapose..finally PKR + UMNO + PAS was then her best bet. Alas, all these tak jadi and gradually DENIAL stage is over, as realization seeped in that PH government is here to stay, at least for 5 years. Now is the ANGER stage...macam macam la Annie in her 'neutrality' vent her anger...sarcasm, outlandish analogy, sneak attack...every witchy ways, hehe. Let's be understanding la...let her vent out her anger, this is the way to cope with GRIEF. Then we wait for the next stage...akan datang, watch this space.

    1. Anon 8:51

      Apa you bebel ni? USD = RM4.07

      Pi la buat kerja sikit.. tolong toktua2 dan bro2 tingkatkn prestasi Malaysia, alaaa bagi sikit la HARAPAN kpd moo moo semua.

      UMNO yang kalah moo pula stressful, whats wrong with you ??

      Professor Nasi Lemak

    2. Ooi Nasi Lemak...the lemak fat has gone right to your brain ke ? What talking you ? I was going on about Annie's spiel and relating it to her current stage of grieving. And you go off to another tangent. Tu lah...sudah beri amaran jangan ashyik makan nasi lemak..not only your heart artieries all clog up, your brain pun clogged up good and proper, sampai cannot think straight, bwa hahahaha. Pergi tidur la, ya.

    3. Nasi lemak grasp of the english language is tahap form 5 je, safe and save pun x tahu nak beza, tu yg melalut je.

    4. You have to forgive Nasi Lemak. Nowadays the UMNO cybertroopers are lowly paid due to short of funds. Hence they can only afford monkeys like peanuts get monkeys...hahaahah

  23. Prof Nasi Lemak,

    //Apa you bebel ni? USD = RM4.07//


    See? I told you that you are great entertainment value :)

    You seem sooooo concern that 1USD=MYR4.07

    Aiyo yo, where were you when 1USD=MYR4.46?

    Gua tak lah lengar lu bising sikit pun lah.

    Sekalang 1USD=MYR4.07, waaah.. lu mayak bising lor.


    Thks for the laughs, buddy :)


    1. Nazi lemak is an insane clown