Today the sun seemed bright again.
They told me that my father is not going to die yet.
He is very ill and I really thought that he was likely to die.
My father is my strength while my mother is my inspiration.
I blame myself when he suddenly got sick that day.
I have been a bad person, and I thought that Allah is punishing me by wanting to take my father away.
I know it was blasphemy but that was what in my mind these past few days.
Alhamdulillah that he is out of danger for now.
I promised myself that I will try to be a better person after this.
I have been very mean, especially towards my mother.
I will totally stop from being that.
No more unreasonable demands, throwing tantrums and such.
If I'm a better person, maybe my father will get better.
If he dies, I don't think I can carry on with what I'm doing now.
I don't think I can continue blogging.
I have not really been following the news, so I can't write about politics or any other things for now.
Will do so in my next posting if things continue to improve.
Okay, I better sleep now.
Need to get up early for sahur.