Tuesday 14 January 2014

How to outwit a Chinese using a kangkung

I worked today despite the public holiday.

I had initially wished the double chin Chinese guy to invite me for a day outing, but he didn't call.

After work, I texted him to ask if he was interested to at least have tea with me.

He replied in the affirmative.

I then picked him up at his place.

It turned out that he was cleaning his apartment the whole day for Chinese New Year celebrations. Some Chinese guys are very particular about cleanliness...but some not even bothered to shower in the morning. The double chin guy belongs to the clean type. Lucky me.

Okay, he eats pork, but there's nothing I can do about it....for now.

We ended up at the Oasis in Subang.

Since I had told him I'm dieting because of my excessive weight, he took me to the vegetarian Secret Recipe restaurant there.

I'm now almost 50 kg.

Need to reduce it to at least 44 kg within this next three months.

He ordered a fruit salad, veggie salad with cashew nuts and a soup like salad with tofu and mushroom. He drank mineral water while I was having my favorite Earl Gray tea. Strictly no sugar.

The meal costs RM51.20. He paid.

As I was munching on the mostly veggie meal, I can't help but remembered the current in-thing sinister jokes about PM DS Najib Razak. He is being ridiculed as a "kangkung PM". My vegetarian meal didn't include kangkung.

Najib is apparently getting whacked from both sides of the political divide over his now infamous "kangkung" remark.

The guy simply can't speak in a lighter mood (which I believe was what he did) without getting whacked.

Remember, when he made that remark about MCA needing a political viagra to revive itself during the party's AGM last month? That was supposed to be a joke but ended up with the likes of Malaysiakini and Malaysian Insider coming to a conclusion that Najib had meant to ridicule the MCA.

For me, those who believed in the pro-Pakatan portals' spin were themselves "kangkung" with no brain to think for themselves.

I guess Najib need to come up with a new strategy to handle issues so that they do not become a PR disaster like this stupid "kangkung" episode.

Well, if it's any comfort for the Najib's camp, at least it is kangkung and not some other more sinister vegetables such as aubergine or bitter gourd.

And after all, when I was very young and in school, my teacher once told my class that eating kangkung (or in english water spinach), was a sign of being intelligent.

According to my teacher's story, once upon a long long time ago, the Sultan of Malacca was  invited for an audience by the Emperor of China. Malacca was a vassal state of China at that time and therefore the Sultan had no choice but to be present.

The Ming dynasty's court protocols required all those in the presence of the Emperor to bow their head. Therefore, no one really knows what the emperor looked like.

The Sultan of Malacca had really wanted to see what the Emperor actually looked like and devised a trick so that he could do so.

For the banquet, he asked for uncut fried kangkung to be served at his table.

So, when it is time to eat, he lifted the whole of the uncut fried kangkung above his head, tilted his head backward and slowly started munching at the vegetable dangling above his head from his fingers.

And of course he therefore got to see what the Emperor looked like as others bowed their head throughout the banquet.

When the emperor asked why he ate the vegetable that way, the Sultan said "Oh, that's how we Malays of Malacca eat kangkung."

The Emperor knew the Sultan was merely bullshitting, but being a nice guy that he was, he let it passed as he felt that the Malay chap running the small piece of land called Malacca was such a smart fellow.

The Emperor had even decided to marry one of his daughters from one of his hundreds of wives to the Sultan who at that time only have a paltry of three wives and have only one slot left according to his religion.

Well, it pays to be a smart guy like that Sultan of Malacca.

Hopefully Najib will be smart too and do the necessary to stem the current tide against him.


  1. Annie, kalau you marry a Baba Melaka then we all can ronggeng at your wedding lah. After all you Muslim nyonya bukan? Macam mana mek berpandangan ?


    Btw, neat fat Chinese men mostly not outdoor type and not so flexible lah. Annie punya less-than-50 physique boleh buat begini?


    1. 20million malays have the power to bancrupt 5million chinese thieves
      These sepet immigrants had cheated us plundering our negeri melayus wealth for the past 100yrs.. Enough is enough


    2. BCL is not going to help the malay one iota. It the is mat kangkung minah kangkang that is destroying the malays. The less the malays worry about the competition form the chinese, the better is their chance for sdurvival.

      Time to drive the kangkung out!

    3. anon 13:36, pls go eat your kangkung.


    4. Apalah oi, bukan semua orang Melayu sehati sejiwa dan saleh bro. ; saudara Cina pun bukan tiap2 dia orang bangang dan riak. Kalau nak salahkan tangkaplah ular, kalajengking dan binatang buas daripada sisi mereka ... dan kite juga

    5. Anon 13.36. You can try so very hard on BCL. I am very sure you will succeed because you could not afford buying anything after sometime except those from Indon/Viet/ or Kampung Kangkung near Najib's house.
      I find it very funny, berpidato orang Malayu memang hebat, tapi bila nak buat apa yang dihajatkan tak tau lah sanggup ker tidak.Saya selalu ada kat Jalan Pasar Pudu where you will see all Chinese Businessmen's selling electrical and electronic items as well as some cheap Viagra by Malay pakcik at the side stalls. Not strangely of course, hardly any Chinese buyers, 95% I guess are my Malay friends lah, mungkin termasuk you.I really want you to realize, I love all my MalayIndian/Portugese and bumiputra East Malaysia.Ada yang baik ada yang kurang menyenangkan di dalam perlakuannya. tetapi we are all Malaysians Look at the issue today , it is a global issue and globalization mind-set that will bring us to step out from where we are,far left behind.
      I will like to tell this encounter that I had with the nasi lemak mak cik I used to buy from, at Taman Nirvana Ampang. She will always be smiling and cheerful whenever she see me coming to her stall. If her sale wasn't so good , ie she has lots of unsold chicken/beef/paru paru. She will ask me to take all and she will give discount. I would normally gladly ask her to ta pao everything.Nothing specific I don't consume beef nor paru paru.So I was dumb to buy all? No, I could give it to my security guards and gardeners working in my condo as their tea break meal. Everyone is happy.And you know why the mak cik had so much left over? She explained because too many Malay worker/students buying from her before I arrived, they are bought the nasi Lemak biasa. So, how ? Every level in our society has a role to fill into. You think we Chinese are not contributing for the country? What do you think and had proof that we kaput from this country? If at all there were - they must be from the political arena or cronies related to the ruling parties. So go target them!If you could help to nail any of these corrupted Chinese,I will be most happy too, Very much like if you could nail a Malay whom corrupts I will be equally happy.So don't screw us for nothing. Unless you tak der kerja lain lah, complain complain kat kopitiam tak kisah lah.......

    6. Anon 13:36, go ask from Syed Mocktar la. Cina no more money.

    7. Anonymous15 January 2014 13:36,

      You are either stupid or blind or trying to trick the Malays.

      Are you serious that you cannot see or do not know of the corruption amongst UMNO politicians and their cronies?

      Maybe, you are one of those cronies who is trying to divert the attention of Malays into blaming the Chinese so that you can continue to rob the this country.


    8. Enough is enough

      The sepet immigrants had cheated us plundering our negeri melayus wealth for the past 100yrs

      They are pigs dirty animals bringing disease to anywhere they emigrate bangsa kurang ajar ungrateful pendatang

      20million malays have the power to bancrupt these 5million dirty chinese thieves


    9. Yes, please BCL. After all the Chinese businesses go kaput please remember to give jobs to the numerous Malays who work in their factories etc.

      All this BCL hoo ha is just that - rubbish talk to divert the issue. Just go to any shopping mall and you will still see lots of Malays buying stuff from the Chinese shops.

    10. U mean Chinese muslim admiral Cheng ho brought his mates here n bankrupt the place.

  2. Parti Kangkung Rakyat

    1. So funny.. and headed by Kangkung Pasir.

      Quote "During my clubbing years, one who sleeps around is called “Kangkung Pasir”, ini kerana secara semulajadinya tumbuhan ini hidupnya membiak dengan menjalar secara rambang" Unquote

      Credit : LOL

    2. anon 07:49, like that also so funny kah ?

    3. Ketua PKR sent kasta naik tak turun turun

  3. Annie,
    44 kg within this next three months. Getting married in Apr?

  4. ha ha ha ha .... a joke for the morning coffee .... If u are targeting 44kg, you must be petite or too concern with ur weight. Take care Annie. You make my day.

    Fazilah Salleh

    1. i pray you are just as concerned with your iman, islam and ihsan; and the meeting on a momentous day when neither offspring nor wealth will benefit any soul except she who brings a sound heart before her Lord Most Just & Merciful.

    2. Oh people know your own soul. Devote yourself to your Lord Creator and Sustainer and serve your fellowmen.



    3. Annie, I think we better not write about the Hang Li Po princess story anymore, There wasn't any scroll written in Chinese History on this China-Malaka royal marriage, Not even in Malaysia can we find such history right? I had asked for the books written on such history from my mainland Chinese friends and lecturers in Beijing University and Qing Hai University, They were surprised but obliged to do some research but tak dapat .Logically if such a marriage took place, it would had been well written , recorded and archived. Or for that matter should be even made into good script for dramas or movies like the WenChen Princess married off to Tibet and for that matter ChengHo the eunach Muslim sailor. Malu lah kita yang beria ia sangat ungkit ungkit pasal Puteri Hang Li Poh, Dalam Sejarah China pun tak ada Surname Hang.

    4. Anonymous15 January 2014 22:00,

      From what I have read, you may be quite correct about Hang Li Po - there is no such princess recorded in official Ming court documents.

      The Ming court, like most of the various Chinese dynasties, was fastidious in their record keeping.

      Some of these emperors had records of EVERYTHING they ate - breakfast, lunch and dinner!! They remind me of an ancient version of Dr Nakamats. ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dr_Nakamats - so now you know the origin of the craze for taking pictures of the food you eat)

      BUT no Hang Li Po anywhere in there.

      OTOH, Zheng He was a real person who is still revered in China today. His exploits are well recorded BUT apparently, no mention of any Hang Li Po there either. Maybe Zheng He's personal diaries may hold some clues - I dunno.

      What was known though was that, it was a common practice for the Ming emperors to marry off commoners/servant girls/concubines to power brokers in strategic locations AND calling such females "princesses" to give some legitimacy to such marriages and presumably to make the prospective husbands feel good about marrying a Chinese "princess".

      I am guessing the Sultan of Malacca was not too fussy about Hang Li Po's title as she was probably very pretty and she came with lots of other pretty hand maidens who were, probably .... eeeerrrrr ... very accommodating towards the wishes of the Sultan as well :)

      How Hang Li Po ended up in Malacca and subsequently in the Sejarah Melayu is anybody's guess. She must have made quite an impression with the Sultan :)


  5. Frankly I feel sorry for Najib but we have given them so many chances. When he first took over the Premiership and still keep the tainted people as his ministers, we justify it as he was not given the mandate by the people, that's why he doesn't really want to rock the boat but after PRU13 he still keeps the tainted and undesirables in his cabinet and as GLC heads.

    I don't know whether he is being queen-controlled or not at home but it seems his wife is out of control outside the house. A lot of people swear that she meddles in a lot of ministries and seemed to have more power than the ministers. True or false? Don't know but there is no smoke without fire right? And then we have her son's "excesses" to further blacken her image.

    His RM7.2 billion consultancy fees is also unacceptable. His narrow focus on high income instead of high purchasing power has currently backfired on all of us. My favourite mee bandung price rose from RM6.50 to RM7.50 in December last year in anticipation of all the price increase and minimum wage.

    Even though I support removal of subsidy, it should be done gradually so that the market can adjust the price accordingly. Maybe an increase of 5 sen every three months. At the same time government must also show that they are serious in doing cost cutting measures themselves. Going overseas using private jet is a big no-no! Paying billions in consultancy fees is also a big blunder. People are very heartsick reading the Auditor G's reports and yet there are no actions taken to stop the misuse of people's money.

    Illegal workers are another big problem. These people are mostly needed in construction. Knowing the fact that we do not have enough construction workers, why does Najib keep on focusing on building more high rise (recent one TRX)? I thought we have access office space already? We should not encourage FDIs that requires a lot of low skilled labour because it will compound the illegal workers problems.

    Najib is a nice guy but I don't think he is street smart enough to manage Malaysia well. I think I read somewhere that he is not book smart either (didn't finish his degree!). True or false? Don't know..

    1. "He who busies himself with things other than the improvement of his own self becomes perplexed by darkness and is entangled in ruin. His evil spirits immerse him deep in vices and make his bad actions seem handsome."
      (Sayyidina Ali ibn Abi Talib r.a.)

    2. anon 18:33, r u referring to PM Najib ?

    3. You support subsidy removal. Then complain about rising prices. What do you expect? Cheaper price ka?

      When someone is nice, you mock & bully him... When you get someone who bully you, no guts to fight back. Malaysians needs a dictator to control them.

  6. How to outwit Ani mangkok using a kangkung ?

    1. try sing this song see how

  7. Najib bacul

    Najib dayus

    Najib pondan

    Najib lembik bapok tak tegas

    Gagal memerangi pemberontak nasrani

    Gagal membenteras pelampau cina dap komunis samarata

    Gagal menangkap subversif pas kopiah khawarij barua dap

    Gagal mendakwa pengkhianat anwar homosex kj marina mujahid murtad liberal

    Gagal menaikkan sosio ekonomi melayu cina gak yg kaya

    Gagal menutup sekolah cina the source of evil rasist



    1. nampaknya GAN (Gerakan Anti Najib) tajaan ayahanda dah muncul kembali !

  8. Najib is beyond help lah already .. nice but not very smart !
    dunno which world he lives in these days .. not sure if he realizes people are making fun of him .. when you are weak, pepole tend run all over you ..

    apa lah malang nasib aku dapat PM macam ni ..
    voted him to get rid of mat kangkang & dapat kangkung instead ..

  9. Adakah Annie jenis pro UMNO blogger yang syiok sendiri ke ?

  10. No way the Emperor was a nice guy. To give away one of his daughters from his thousand of concubines was no a big deal. And for the Sultan honoring the tribute to accommodate was something worthy and not to be ignored. 

    I think, at the banquet, the Sultan must have had told the story why he liked to eat Kangkung. Reflecting, the story of this Malay chap named Hang Cekak. Since then the wonder of Kangkung had been the Sultan's favorite and daily diets.

    Hang Cekak was born with no hands and legs. But he was a super strong and brave feller because he liked to eat lots and lots of Kangkung. The Sultan make him the commander of a reparatory brigade.

    There was this village chief's daughter, stubborn, willful but a prettiest girl in the village. She refused to parental advise about her choice of marriage. Her first choice of marriage was a good looking man, a worrier. They were later divorced because her husband liked to bit her up. He was renamed Hang Pukul. So thus her second marriage, her husband kicked her terribly and they ended up in divorce too. He was called Hang Sepak.

    For a long time, she was downed because of her marriage failures. The Chief was worried and offered her daughter his assistance. The Chief would introduced men to come to the house at night while he was voluntarily away. The choice was still hers. The daughter agreed.

    Man after man came to the house and all were courteously declined. Then one particular night, she heard a laud banging sound knocking at her door, and the intense sound kept on heighten. She was afraid but finally she opened up the door. 

    At first, she saw nobody but as she looked downward, there stood Hang Cekak. He got no hands and legs. She asked Hang Cekak who was banging at her door so thunderously. 

    Hang Cekak answered, "Who else! and who in the hell could be knocking on your door, just now, me with no hands and legs?"

    That was why the Emperor gave one of his daughters (renamed Han Kant Kang) to marry the Sultan because the wonder of Kangkung. Don't underestimate the power of Kangkung. I bet you the wonder of Kongkung had been the Emperor's diet ever since.

    1. hahahahaha!! I enjoyed your story very much.

  11. All malays who have even a slight concern about the future of the race, should read this Bigdog posting.


    "In many ways maybe these two Tun Razak’s boys would want to believe that they have inherited their father’s personal legacy, which brought tremendous transformation in so little time and space. In reality, they are closer of being contradiction to their famous and legend as their father."

    1. please lah, bigdog ? dia ni blogger yg bergaji !

    2. Should ask the Oracle of Syed Putra how much he paid the man

    3. WK, watch your language!  You balik dari mana pulak?

  12. "Hang Cekak was born with no hands and legs. But he was a super strong and brave feller because he liked to eat lots and lots of Kangkung. The Sultan make him the commander of a reparatory brigade."

    Wah wah wah! then you must be eerrrr ...... Hang MyBrain lah

    1. Ever heard of Hang Kapit?

    2. Anon 18:39, If you want to know whether you have the sense of humor (Hang Kah Kah), please test MyBrain Kangkung. Before you test yourself to build your brain capacity, you must first eat as much Kangkung as possible. If you are lucky you might get back your lost sense of humor, may be a little late.

  13. woi annie, enough of your cerita karut dating story with your china man with double chin, stop kangkung-ing okay !

  14. Sebenarnya itu Najib cekap atak betut , itu kangkong atak mulah ,apa pasat mau beli mahat punya sayor maa...?, lagi manyak sehat dan jimat loo o o .

    Lulu-lulu hilup atak manyak susah loo ,kalau lapat itu kangkong makan samak bubor , hai...yaa ,sutak manyak syok maa lagi manyak itu apa olang cekap kasiat loo .

    Manyak makan kangkong manyak babut lagi atak pandai , selupa olang cina semua bolih jadi loo o .

  15. 50kg fat? Please eat some more, most men(like me) like berisi women, and don't eat kangkung unless you know somebody who knows how to cut and clean it ok.

  16. So 'kangkung' is powerful tool to deal with chinese. It is a funny story, I have read it to - http://britishlibrary.typepad.co.uk/asian-and-african/2013/09/sejarah-melayu-a-malay-masterpiece.html

    1. Lufang lu mali sini "fart-fart"... manyak butut oooi!