Hello darkness, my old friend

Today I met an old friend who knows I'm running this blog.

He said based on my writings these days, I'm not my usual self anymore.

I'm too serious, he said.

In fact, he said I'm more serious these days compared to before I started writing in this blog.

"You used to be a more fun person. Now, you are just too serious that if I don't know you, I might be a bit scared of you," he said.

I guess he is right about part of it. I do tend to take things more seriously these days. But I don't think it's because of writing in this blog.

I think it's the other way around. The problem is me, and not this blog.

I know I'm becoming less easy going these days. Maybe because I'm getting older or maybe because things that happened around me of late have turned me into a more skeptical person.

In the first place, I had not intended this blog to be a serious sopo blog. My postings are mostly just my spontaneous reactions to events or things which I came across in the cyberspace or happenings around me.

I hardly plan or do in-depth research whenever I feel like posting anything.

For instance, when I decided to support Mukhriz Mahathir, it was just because I think he is the only logical choice to lead a new generation of Umno leaders. It's basically just my gut feeling. I never claim it to be otherwise. I'm indeed not some super duper political analyst or writer.

It may be hard for you to believe, but I never even think of supporting Mukhriz because he is the son of Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad.

Mukhriz doesn't even know who I am and likely doesn't even know of my support for him. I'm also not likely to directly benefit from my support for him.

It was the same when I supported Datuk Abdul Ghani Othman before his retirement from politics.

I support these guys simply because I think that they are good fellas. Nothing more, nothing less. My conscience is clear as far as my support for them is concerned.

As I had explained earlier, I don't really plan what I'm going to write. I just write according to how I feel about things.

This posting, for instence, clearly doesn't have a proper agenda. I just started writing it because I feel like doing so. Whatever which comes out from my mind, I just let it flow on to this page.

I never planned how it will come out or even how the ending will be.

I did most of my previous postings like this.

It's just the way I am these days.

Okay, enough lah....I'm starting to feel sleepy. It is past midnight already.

BTW, I'm missing someone tonight. Probably that's why I'm writing aimlessly in this posting so that I could just bury that pathetic thought. It's pathetic to miss someone who doesn't really give a shit about how we feel.

I know, stupid me.

Well, never mind.

Eh, here is some nice music instead,

Good night