More important than Raya

About a week from Raya and I have not done anything for the coming celebrations.

No baju or kuih raya this time as I need to save as much as I could due to my current financial constraints.

Last year made pineapple tarts but butter is so expensive now.

I also intend to stay here in the East coast for the occasion instead of going back to KL.

Save duit minyak and toll as well as other expenses that come with travelling.

It's also much cheaper to spend time here.

Basically my Raya is just going to be some greetings via WhatsApp and maybe a bit of nasi impit and rendang on the first day.

Doesn't really matter as I'm not too much into Raya or any other kind of celebrations anyway.

After all, celebrations were meant for good time and it's not a good financial time for me right now.

Really, it's okay. I always believe in living within my means.

I'm not sad or anything because despite my difficulties, I still have enough to go on by.

It's not like I'm starving and couldn't pay my bills.

I even still have wifi, okay. 

Ya, having wifi is more important to me compared to spending money on berhari raya.

I also always keep in mind that there are many more people who are less fortunate than me.

They are struggling to provide for their families and some even having to rely on handouts and soup kitchens to survive.

Just look at the current urban poverty situation in KL.

Almost half a year since we have this current government and things are still like that.

What? Rahmah meals? Sure.

Ya, I know. They need more time.

Later they are going to say they need another term to turn around the economy.

Sure.

Well, fuck that. I don't really care anymore.

Just trying to survive and take care of myself for now.

Everyone else have to take care of themselves too. 

Shouldn't care too much about other people when you yourself are struggling to continue with life.

Forget the bigger picture.

And students, you all better listen to the PM. 

The other day he said you all shouldn't go to the streets if you are not happy with how things are.

Focus on studying, so that you all don't end up with just a general degree of some obscure social science course because you spent too much time protesting  here and there.

Betul lah tu.

Unless, maybe if you are dreaming  of becoming a PM yourself one day...just by selling BS...like the current PM.

Anyway, I really enjoy this ongoing Ramadhan as I can stay at home all the time now.

Not too many distractions or temptations.

It helps to discipline me to perform my obligatory religious rituals, particularly the daily five prayers.

I know, it's very basic, but still I'm grateful as I always struggle on that one.

Just want to focus on that for now.

Oh, and I'm also trying my best to cleanse my heart, be more sincere, as well as avoiding anger and stress.

Yeah, I would gladly trade berhari raya to achieve all that.