By the time I reached Kuantan yesterday, it's already dark.
Now at my friend's place.
On the way here, I stopped in Pekan.
It's a quaint small town.
I have a lot of memories there.
I stopped in front a row of eateries facing Sungai Pahang.
Used to eat capati with mutton curry at one of the shops there
It's the only place where I had eaten capati made by a Malay makcik.
Walked across the street and found a place to sit.
It's peaceful there watching the river flowing by
Somehow, all the memories came back to me at that moment.
I was actually directly involved in helping the team of PM DS Najib Razak in his constituency there when he was still the deputy prime minister.
I was almost always present whenever Najib came back to Pekan every other weekends at that time.
I made friends with some of his people, but was very discreet about it.
Well, I'm not really the up front type as I always prefer to be in the background.
Najib never knew who I am.
I normally joined his team and we followed Najib around as he met his constituents whenever he's in Pekan.
Najib was always very natural with the people at that time.
At least that's the impression I have of him then.
For me he was a decent and responsible wakil rakyat.
It helped that among his people whom I know was a close aide, who is a good guy.
He has always been nice and helpful.
I actually knew him much earlier than that time in Pekan.
We considered ourselves as friends.
I decided to support Najib at that time for the most part because of him.
For me, someone who leads good people should be a good leader.
Among the memories I cherish most from those days was when my friend at one time took the trouble of fetching food for me at one of Najib's functions.
I'm a nobody while he was a Datuk and close aide of a deputy prime minister, yet he treated me as an equal.
We then ate together standing under a tree by the bank of Sungai Pahang because there was no place for us to sit as the venue of the function was packed with people.
It was Ramadhan and we were breaking fast.
There are many other such memories from those days but that one stands out the most for me.
I think I did my best to help Najib at that time.
In fact, I had continued to support him long after that, including via my writings in this blog.
You all can just check the archive of this blog to verify that.
I have to mention about my friend here, because I want to put it on record the only time I have ever asked for money from Najib.
This is important for me because there have been accusations that I'm being paid to support Najib all these while.
I'm going to tell you all this story and then it's up for you to decide whether what was accused of me was true.
It happened shortly before I left Pahang for Johor after the general election in 2008.
I was desperately trying to raise fund for a centre for special needs children in Kuantan.
Those who really know me would know why getting the fund was very important to me.
I was running out of options when I decided to approach my friend.
He was very understanding when I told him about it and when I showed him all the documentation for the fund request, he promised to show it to Najib for consideration as soon as possible.
He understood why I had to settle the matter before I leave Pahang.
My friend came back to see me a week later.
Najib had approved an allocation for the fund from a special budget in his capacity as deputy prime minister.
I will always remember that.
That's why it's very hard for me even now to go against the man.
I rather be neutral despite not being happy over what's happening now.
I will always be grateful to Najib and that close aide of his for extending me a helping hand at that time.
I wish I can name my friend so that those who have been going around calling me a liar can check with him whether what I wrote here is the truth or otherwise.
But I can't do that because he was not very happy the last time I mentioned his name in this blog.
So, all I can offer here is that I wish Allah will fry me in hell for eternity if the story I wrote above is a lie.
I have a very similar story to explain why I defended Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad in this blog.
But let me save it for another day.
Whatever it is, I'm going to stick with my decision to sit on the middle ground.
I wish the warring Umno people will make peace and save the party before the next general election.
But since both sides now seem to be of the attitude that "either you are with us or against us", I decided not to get involve with any of them anymore.
For me, that's an attitude which will not only tear Umno apart, but will also ruin the country.
I believe that's why all those supposedly "former" opposition people now working for Umno and BN are cheering it on.
I don't want anything to do with that, thus my decision not to write about politics anymore.
Someone once asked me how to differentiate between a blogger who sincerely writes for agama, bangsa dan tanah air and a blogger who writes for selfish personal interest.
I told him to read carefully what the blogger wrote, try to know what kind of person he/she is and then ask what are his/her motives.
If we are sincere ourselves, insyaAllah we will know the right answer.