Need to be good

Today the sun seemed bright again.

They told me that my father is not going to die yet.

He is very ill and I really thought that he was likely to die.

My father is my strength while my mother is my inspiration.

I blame myself when he suddenly got sick that day.

I have been a bad person, and I thought that Allah is punishing me by wanting to take my father away.

I know it was blasphemy but that was what in my mind these past few days.

Alhamdulillah that he is out of danger for now.

I promised myself that I will try to be a better person after this.

I have been very mean, especially towards my mother.

I will totally stop from being that.

No more unreasonable demands, throwing tantrums and such.

If I'm a better person, maybe my father will get better.

If he dies, I don't think I can carry on with what I'm doing now.

I don't think I can continue blogging.

I have not really been following the news, so I can't write about politics or any other things for now.

Will do so in my next posting if things continue to improve.

Okay, I better sleep now.

Need to get up early for sahur.

Good night.