Saturday 12 April 2014

Qingming

I had to take down my last posting due to technical difficulties.

I was alerted of it by a commenter who wrote this

Annie, what happened to the three pics; they're not showing ... on Apa lagi Bumis Mau?

Thanks.

I had tried to fix it but was unsuccessful. The pictures just refused to stick.

I will get help and once it's fixed, put the posting back on.

Anyway, I'm actually now in Kluang.

Drove down from KL early this morning with my mother and aunts.

We are back in our kampung for Qingming.


I have joined my Chinese relatives for the Tomb Sweeping Day since I was a kid.

My mother took me along with her for the occasion despite objections from some Muslim friends who felt that it's against Islam for my mother and myself to observe Qingming.

My mother told me not to worry as we were just paying respect to our ancestors and not praying at the graves. Something like what other Muslims do when they visit the graves of dearly departed on Hari Raya morning.

My father doesn't objected to it even though he never joined us.

What I appreciate my father most about the whole thing was that he never tried to turn my mother into a Malay.

My mother once told me that when she converted to Islam and got married, it was my father who insisted for her not to take up a Malay name and put a "binti Abdullah" at the back of her name, much to the displeasure of the Perkim and Jabatan Agama people who advised her to do so.

I believe that my mother made a point to retain her Chinese identity because she had married my father against the wishes of her family. It sorts of lessen the burden of her family to accept the fact that she is now "different".

For Qingming, everyone were back here, including my relatives from Singapore. Among them were my favorite big auntie and small auntie. It's almost like a mini New Year celebrations.

I am going to help around with the cleaning up of the house today. I can't help with the cooking as there may be pork among the dishes. My mother and myself have our own pork-free meal arrangement.

Later in the afternoon, I'm going to drive my grandmother to town to do a bit of shopping.

We will visit the graves tomorrow.

Here is a bit of lesson on Qingming


43 comments:

  1. I respect your mum and dad , in a racial polarized society like Malaysia where everyone is trying to preserve his/her own cultural identity , getting together is not an easy task due to family pressure .


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    1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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    2. Anon 18:48
      Don't be a moron. I don't allow anyone to insult my mother in my blog.

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    3. Annie
      I hope you share with your relatives what you think of everyone from a certain race that does not vote for your political masters. How? Berani ?

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    4. Anon:22:31
      There's more to life than politics. And try not to think along racial line all the time. Cheers.

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    5. You allow bloggers to insult part of your family who are non Malays. You are traitor to your other side and your relatives.

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    6. Annie, what insult to your mother who is a Chinese if rest of the chinese can be insulted?

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    7. Anon 23:21
      Very simple...'if rest of the chinese' know how to jaga mulut, acting bravely behind keyboard sure no problem!!!.. tak puas hati , tunjuk diri cakap depan depan tengok apa jadi!!

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    8. Anon 23:09
      If chinese criticized chinese especially that chinese show leaning more to the government is called traitor whereas the chinese who favoured pakatanwere enlightened..and they believed and announced to the world they RACIST!!!!... one best example for you bigot during malacca was underattack from portuguese, the CHINESE who stay,trading and welcome by the sultan, supplying the jong and navigate the portuguese.. and that is the meaning of TRAITOR!!!

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    9. Haiyah! just improve our sekolah kebangsaan quality and integrate our Chinese and Tamil children into single mainstream curriculum with 2nd language subjects .... other wise these stupid and unnecessary "gaduh perkauman" akan tak habis-habis sampai bila pun. Please wake up oh Ministers.

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    10. 1.59 wake up Malays living around melaka are traitors for not defending the customs and fellow Malays. You racist to pick chinese. There are Indian and Arab traders. You like tudm. Rmaf sleeping. You NATO to Chinese baba, who eat, dress and speak Malay and not consider as bumi but can give to those in portugese settlement in melaka. Who is traitor? Who allow attackers and destroyers of melaka to stay and give special status? You are the real traitor.

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    11. Hoi anon 09:19

      History will always be history whether you like it or not!!!!.. RMAF sleeping?!..yes..sleeping with your mother!!

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    12. You very happy that rmaf had sleep with your mother, sisterd, gf and wife.

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    13. Anon 15:47
      You are welcome to join...kihkihkih

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  2. `Amr bin Shu`aib (may Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (blessings & peace be upon him) said: "He is not one of us, who shows no mercy to the younger ones and does not acknowledge the honor due to our elders".
    [At-Tirmidhi and Abu Dawud].

    Abu Hurairah (r.a.) narrated that the Prophet (s.a.w.) said, "A woman is married for four things: (i) for her wealth, (ii) for her lineage, (iii) for her beauty or (IV) for her piety. Choose the pious one, that you may be blessed!". [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

    Anas (r.a.) reported: The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) said: "Three things follow a dead person: (1) members of his family, (2) his property and wealth (3) his personal deeds. Two of them return; and one remains with him. The people and his wealth return; his deeds remain with him". [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

    A funeral procession passed in front of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ and the people praised the deceased person. Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, "It has been affirmed (ie. Paradise)." Then another funeral procession passed by and the people talked badly of the deceased one. Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, "It has been affirmed (ie. Hell)." Allah's Apostle was asked, "O Allah's Apostle! You said it has been affirmed for both?" Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, "The testimony of the people (is accepted), for the virtuous believers are Allah's witnesses on the earth."

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  3. Islam apa ni? Perkakas dapur, pinggan mangkuk semua sudah dicemari Babi.

    Blog ni lama kelamaan akan meruntuhkan akidah umat Islam. Yang peminat Dan pengampu blogger ni, berwaspada lah, membawa Dan mempercayai cerita-cerita mualaf ni!

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    1. Ramai orang Cina lama kelamaan dia insaf atas kepentingan meninggalkan makanan daging babi dan haiwan; bahkan sekelompok besar orang muda Cina yang beragama dengan ajaran Buddha dan Confucius telah mengamalkan "vegetarianian" penuh masa.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbDSczvMQ2s

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    2. Re. Perkakas dapur, pinggan mangkuk semua sudah dicemari Babi.

      Jangan terlalu cepat menghukum. Mana kamu tahu Annie dan ibunya menggunakan pinggan mangkuk yang sama. Kalau ini tidak benar, bermakna kamu telah memfitnah Annie dan ibunya. Kalau ini benar, bukankah lebih baik kamu, mengingatkan dengan cara yang berhemah, contohnya 'Harap sipulan bin sipulan berhati-hati agar pinggan mangkuk yang digunakan juga itu berasingan".

      Re. Islam apa ni?

      Berhemah itulah cara Islam yang sebenar, bukan menghina seperti cara kamu.

      Re. Blog ni lama kelamaan akan meruntuhkan akidah umat Islam.

      Blog ini bukan blog agama, jadi apa kena mengena dengan akidah seseorang?

      Re. mempercayai cerita-cerita mualaf ni

      Annie is a born Muslim who happens to have a mixed parentage. Yang mualaf ibunya, bukan Annie. Menurut kata ustaz saya, taraf mualaf itu hanya terpakai setakat 2 tahun sahaja. Dalam temouh ini seseorang saudara baru itu dibenarkan belajar meninggalkan sedikit demi sedikit cara hidup bukan Islam yang lalu kecuali upacara berkaitan keagamaan orang kafir yang sama sekali dilarang. Tapi adalah lebih baik sekiranya seorang saudara baru meninggalkan cara hidup yang lama itu terus contohnya makan babi, minum arak etc. Selepas tempuh dua tahun itu, seorang saudara baru itu bukan lagi dikira mualaf.

      Dalam upacara Qing Ming ini tidak salah untuk sekadar menghadirinya tapi harus meninggalkan upacara-upacara berkaitan keagamaan. Setakat pergi menziarah dan membersihkan pusara rasanya tidak menjadi masaalah.

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  4. ... to anon 13:39, who speaks like a present-day pagan-malay-muslim...

    ... if you "think" this blog can influence your perception of islam... then you must be a very "weak" muslim... & most glaringly, your shallow understanding of your own religion... that is what happens when you "idol worship" your "religious men with beards & robes"... verily, there is no compulsion in religion.

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    1. About Human Separation and the Heart's Longings

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=3-iyUb-R4L4&list=PL3B446F1676C5571E

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  5. macai pas pun ada dalam ni kekekeke

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  6. Annie, your father is good man. Your father try his best to show his gratitude at what you mother had done for him. I think it is ok for your mother to practise Chinese culture as long as it is not against the teaching of Islam. The Muslim in China still practise Chinese culture despite being a Muslim. But in my opinion your mother should also have a Muslim name besides retaining her Chinese name. Most of Malay names are Muslim name. In everydays life this does not seemed to matter much. But one day we will go to meet our creator. As Muslim there will be ' talqin ' at our gravedide, there will be 'Majlis Tahlil ' for the dead etc. In both occassion our name will be mentioned. I think is not ' berdosa ' that our name does not reflect a Muslim indentity, but It surely feeled very.akward!

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    1. 1. How important is it for a new Muslim to change his name? :-

      http://islamqa.info/en/23273

      2. Obligation of changing one's name upon accepting Islaam:-

      http://islamqa.info/en/372

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    2. Re. Most of Malay names are Muslim name

      Most of Malay names are Arab names. Fyi, Arab doesn't spell Muslim as many Arab Christians in the Middle East have names like Ibrahim instead of Abraham, Yahya instead of John, Lokman instead of Luke etc.

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  7. "Ching Ming"? a ghost festival.The ancestral worship is practised by the followers of Confucius.No longer practise in China I believe.

    Each religion with its rites.Hence, we have many different religious festivals in Malaysia.A ghost festival is one of them.

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    1. QingMing is still practised in China, but I can't tell on what scale. My mainland Chinese friends told me so.

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  8. M'sians, please be open minded. M'sia is multi racial and Annie is half and half. She has the right to respect her ancestors, be with her non Muslims relatives, help with the housework etc.. Respect for both your mum and dad. Only one thing lah Annie, if your mum's name is in Chinese, then how do people know that she's a Muslim? Btw I am also half, one quarter and one quarter. (Chinese, Malay, Indian).

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  9. Annie,

    My American husband does not have a Muslim name although he has converted to Islam and we got married in Malaysia. Jabatan Ugama Islam Wilayah Persekutuan told us that there is no compulsion for him to change his name.

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    1. Dumno, he is a Yankee. He is not a pendatang and you want malaysia to change his Yankee name?

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    2. Anon13:00

      DAPig, yes, he is not pendatang.. unlike err err...

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    3. This is what Yankee culture? You shame uncle sam

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    4. anon 18:32

      uncle sam???... Are you refering to my neighbour?!

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  10. Coming from mixed parentage myself, its important to know where we came from otherwise how do we know where we want to go. Celebrate this tradition of your mother, care less about what others have to say. Are they mixed themselves to provide any valuable comment? Its already hard enough coming from mixed family, you dont need the added stress of others commenting on something they know little about.

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  11. Halal , haram dipentingkan ataupun "celebrate" ni dan tu?

    Makan pau babi tak masa Qing Ming?

    Hypokrit betul ramai peminat Annie ni.

    Mualaf macam ni yang akan merosakan akidah orang Islam terutama bangsa Melayu yang tak boleh toleransi benda-benda macam ni.

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    1. Bodo la ko ni

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    2. Woi anon 22:36
      Ngko tak nak komen ke bila anwar 'gay tua' ibrahim sanggup biarkan dahinya di letakkan kum kum di kuil semata mata nk undi kapir!!..bagi la komen skit..ngko kan sebelah kaki da dlm syurga!!!

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    3. Anon 22.36
      Hanya Allah sahaja yang tahu apa yang sebenarnya berlaku. Mungkin Annie dan ibunya jujur mengikuti ajaran Islam walaupun ketika bergaul dengan kelurganya yang bukan Islam. Siapa kita untuk menjatuhkan hukuman?
      Tapi dari komen anda, andalah sebenarnya bukan seorang Islam yang baik, membuat tuduhan tanpa bukti! Anda juga seorang Iskam yang hidup dalam tempurung, jumud dan pendapat anda akan menyebabkan bukan Islam akan mrnanganggap agama Islam sebagai agama yang sukar!

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  12. Name does not reflect your religion.Tareq Aziz,Saddam Hussein's former aide is a Christian.Talqin n name not connected.Irregardless of what name u have you are servants of Allah.Please don't mixed customs(adat) with religion.

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  13. I think it's fabulous that you retain a lot of your Chinese customs, Annie. It enriches you and roots you to your heritage. People mustn't take it for granted because heritage help you to know where you're from in order to guide you to where you must go.

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  14. He write on purpose for others to insult Chinese if his mother is Chinese and feel no shame is he is half of it.

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    1. ONLY THINGSDONE BY AL JUB ARE HALAL.......EVENTHOUGH ISLAM SAYS IT IS HARAM.....

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  15. To the some narrow minded person, Ching Ming is a chinesse tradition celebration.During the day, all the family members will gather and mourn their anccestor. I also have a malay aunt, she also following my uncle visit their anccestor. Pls difrentiate culture and also religion. And to the pesro said that Chineese eat the pork, ntw, i am a buddhist, i am pratising vegetarian, so pls dun give out the babi word. And babi is also creation of Allah. So dun always use this word to scold other ppl. Tq

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    1. The Buddha expounds on the Sutra of Amitabha, the Buddha of Infinite Light ... describing the Paradise of Amitabha Buddha ... and deliverance from human cravings and suffering.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1l0he9KHqAA

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